“Is this your correct income sir?” My heart sank to the floor. I knew what was coming next, and I did not like it. You see for the past few months my wife and children had all been on Medical Assistance, and it was that Medical Assistance that had allowed us to afford our expenses and make ends meet. It had been a life saver, for while my job paid well, the student debt my wife and I had drained most of that income. Medical Assistance was relieving the burden of medical expenses from us, and helping us make ends meet.

So now here I was, talking to my new Medical Assistance agent, and he was verifying my income. I don’t know how it happened, but the number he gave me for my monthly income was easily $300 short of my actual income. So when the agent asked me if this was correct , I knew I had to say “no.” I also knew that with the correct income numbers, it was likely that at least my wife would no longer be eligible for Medical Assistance, and it would debatable if the children were.

I was terrified! If we lost this we were in big trouble! But I opened my mouth, and slowly told the agent “no, that is not the right amount.” After conversing a little about the right amount, he ran some numbers and said he would call me back if there needed to be any changes. I shakily hung up the phone, and I quickly did the only thing I knew to do. I went to my prayer space.

My prayer space is the place I go whenever I want to pray, and I got there, hit my knees and said the only prayer I could think of: “Lord, I truly have no other recourse but to turn to you. My life and future are in your hands, I’m relying on you to take care of us.” I then got up, left my prayer space and went back about my day. Later I received a call from my agent. He said that indeed my wife would no longer be eligible for Medical Assistance, but the children still were to remain in the program.
I was happy and sad all at the same time; this meant I had to find a little more money in the budget in the coming months, but not nearly as much as I was going to have to find if all of us were kicked off. Still concerned, I went back to my prayer space and said that same prayer one more time.

This is the part where I wish I could tell you we miraculously found extra money in our budget and it was all ok. Unfortunately I can’t. I don’t know what happens next because I’m still living the story out. I’m still waiting to see how it turns out. I have no control over my current income, or my eligibility for Medical Assistance, so all I can do is put it in God’s hands, prepare the best I can, and then continue to live my life. For me that is what trusting in God is all about, putting it in his hands, doing the best I can, and then waiting and seeing what God does to make it work.

I’m still concerned, and I still don’t know how it’s going to turn out, but I do know it’s not in my hands, it is in God’s, and that is good enough for me.